Thursday 18 September
Having conversations with Ken this morning I’m beginning to realise that I need to be able to function on a random timetable, which I feel I have done my best at, but it has been very exhausting being in different cities, trying to find my feet. I feel mentally, emotionally and physically strained. But I think this is a good test, a good stepping-stone, a building block. You’ve got to start somewhere, I’m just starting at the beginning.
But that’s just right now, this is an industry that is very sporadic and very hard work. Even when it feels like you’re not working in the studio, you really are, because you need to be switched on at all times. 12 hour days are long (what I did with Ken yesterday).
Yes it’s enjoyable, it’s an amazing profession, but it’s still a lot of energy, a lot of work, time, passion.
I do feel drained.
I feel so energised when I hear the music though. It’s all worth it.
All the time and money, effort, sacrifice.
Remember your goal Steph – as an artist, by creating something, you are testing the boundaries of society, growing, helping others grow.
By expressing myself through music I am doing that. My performance ability has improved tremendously as well, I noticed during the gig at Vibe Bar… I was really in the zone, people were listening, people cared and took in the themes of my music.
I can’t believe I’ve done this – I’m almost at the end of my trip and I’ve come so far… I’ve learned so much, about songwriting, myself, letting go.
Ken is currently playing electric guitar with an his Gibson for our solo part. It sounds fucking awesome. A little scary… but I think it’s very “cinematic”! We have a few tempo changes in this track, which emphasise the drama and tension in the track.
While all this recording has been a great experience, there were a lot of times that I felt a lot of it was over my head, in terms of the “production”. But that’s normal, otherwise I may as well just record in my bedroom at home. But because it’s going over my head and I’m a little separated, I feel like I’m not putting in all the effort I could be… or because I’m not “doing everything” it feels like I’m not working hard enough.
Need to keep reminding myself that this isn’t the case, it’s all a building block for my musical path and goal. I will bring away from these experiences so many learnings on how to write, pull songs together, what sounds good… I have something to offer and present to a band for them to play.
It is a brainchild from me as well, but the concepts have been carried out by others. Let go of ego Steph.
Know when you don’t know everything and that sometimes you need to seek advice or hand certain elements over to others for them to do, as that’s their expertise, or they have more experience.
I just sang harmonies and got the parts!!!!! Very proud of myself!!! I’m usually really awful at them…
I can’t believe I’m in Paris working on my music… and after this, we will have finished… after today… I’ve finished what I set out to do.
I just learnt what scrubbing is – erasing the nocal noises, it used to be done with spot eraser on tape.