Sunday, September 23, 2018

Mess


There’s something glorifying about heartbreak
Something over indulgent about it

About the tortured artist

A beautiful space to reconnect with and remember
Who you were before the mess

you could be anyone


I kiss you
But it’s not you I’m kissing
You could be anyone
You could be anyone
You’re no one specific
Just a pair of lips
For me to play pretend with
Just a couple of lips
For me to entertain with

Wednesday, August 8, 2018

I would never dream.

I would never dream.

Of hurting you the way you hurt me
But baby you didn’t even know it
You didn’t know what kind of deep seeded shit I’ve dealt with in my short life
My internal monologue that pushes me forward
And holds me back just the same
But in other ways.

The amount of pain I’ve put up with and normalised
Over my short life
The amount of people I’ve been forced to forgive
The amount of people I’ve given unwarranted second chances to
The inevitable heartbreak of a broken home
The cause, the effect, the ingrained defeatism. The residual effect. The residual self-hatred.
That I’ve had to shake
And grow from
And make my own mind up about.

I will dream again
It might not be of you
For you
About you
Or with you.

But I will dream again. 

Monday, May 21, 2018

Reliability is subjective

6 December 2017, 10:46pm

When I get to your age 
I can relate to you

Isn't it weird and heart breaking

that we'll never be able to relate 
in the real time and space 
as each other a
at the same time 

Reliability is subjective and dependent 


Ella Fence

Stories

6 December 2017, 11:28pm

Stories happen when things don't go to plan


Ella Fence

Safety

5 December 2017, 7:56pm

I let myself feel everything
So I let myself down
No one else does this to me
It's me 
reflecting me

Diving in deep
Too quick to
Everything

Then retreating, acting too cool

Maybe I prefer to be alone
It's the only time I'm really in control
All my interactions I over think


21 May 2018, 10:17pm

Maybe it's easier being alone
But no, I do not prefer it
and I choose to not give in to that safety


Ella Fence

Beauty?

5 December 2017, 3:05pm

I take beauty out of moments
Because I think about the fact 
That they won't last forever 

21 May 2018, 10:11pm

I need to stop doing this to myself

Ella Fence

Live the life you lust.