Monday, November 5, 2018


Darling I don’t mean to be dismissive 
I just get nervous
If it were up to me I would spend the whole night
Listening to every single one of your stories
Any little detail
Of any little story you wanted to share
I would hang onto every word
Give you every single last bit of my attention 

Watching as your mouth curls
The odd shapes it makes
As the words fall freely from your imperfect lips
Watching as you grit your teeth
A little too hard
When you’re trying to push out the difficult words
Watching as the layers of pain
Start to shed away
As you begin to let in someone new 

Sunday, September 23, 2018


There’s something glorifying about heartbreak
Something over indulgent about it

About the tortured artist

A beautiful space to reconnect with and remember
Who you were before the mess

you could be anyone

I kiss you
But it’s not you I’m kissing
You could be anyone
You could be anyone
You’re no one specific
Just a pair of lips
For me to play pretend with
Just a couple of lips
For me to entertain with

Wednesday, August 8, 2018

I would never dream.

I would never dream.

Of hurting you the way you hurt me
But baby you didn’t even know it
You didn’t know what kind of deep seeded shit I’ve dealt with in my short life
My internal monologue that pushes me forward
And holds me back just the same
But in other ways.

The amount of pain I’ve put up with and normalised
Over my short life
The amount of people I’ve been forced to forgive
The amount of people I’ve given unwarranted second chances to
The inevitable heartbreak of a broken home
The cause, the effect, the ingrained defeatism. The residual effect. The residual self-hatred.
That I’ve had to shake
And grow from
And make my own mind up about.

I will dream again
It might not be of you
For you
About you
Or with you.

But I will dream again. 

Monday, May 21, 2018

Reliability is subjective

6 December 2017, 10:46pm

When I get to your age 
I can relate to you

Isn't it weird and heart breaking

that we'll never be able to relate 
in the real time and space 
as each other a
at the same time 

Reliability is subjective and dependent 

Ella Fence


6 December 2017, 11:28pm

Stories happen when things don't go to plan

Ella Fence


5 December 2017, 7:56pm

I let myself feel everything
So I let myself down
No one else does this to me
It's me 
reflecting me

Diving in deep
Too quick to

Then retreating, acting too cool

Maybe I prefer to be alone
It's the only time I'm really in control
All my interactions I over think

21 May 2018, 10:17pm

Maybe it's easier being alone
But no, I do not prefer it
and I choose to not give in to that safety

Ella Fence


5 December 2017, 3:05pm

I take beauty out of moments
Because I think about the fact 
That they won't last forever 

21 May 2018, 10:11pm

I need to stop doing this to myself

Ella Fence

Opening the windows

Let the light in
Let the air in
Let the love in

Ella Fence 


4 December 2017, 9:02am

There is art in everyone 
There is art in everything 

Ella Fence

Surprises and expectations

4 December 2017, 8:20am
& 21 May 2018, 10:00pm

Sometimes the world catches you by surprise 
And sometimes you get exactly what you'd expect 
Either can be painful 

Sit up sit up sit up because you can't sleep 

Lie low lie low lie low because you're too tired

Ella Fence


21 November 2017, 8:00am

I finally feel myself again 
Excited about waking up again 
I'd rather just lay in bed I'm comfortable instead 
But it's a good thing this time 

21 May 2018, 9:54pm 

I still can't get out of bed most days

Ella Fence


19 November 2017, 10:30pm 

The same brick walls that excited you 
Begin to box you in 
The evolution of you and me 
Becomes the forgetting of us

Ella Fence

Actually living

21 January 2018 
& 21 May 2018

I put my life on hold for so long
Because of you

Constantly running away and chasing the next thing
Not wanting to settle in the reality that I was in
But to create a new one

The one in my dreams and fantasies 
But this is my life, the life I’ve created.

From working hard and smart

And it is a good life 

And so I choose I relish

I choose to indulge
I choose to enjoy 

This life
My life

And not let the the dream get in the way of actually living. 

Ella Fence


19 November 2017, 8:42pm

I'm trying to spend more time alone
Let things happen naturally it's
Funny how we go extreme on both ends
And then end up right back in the middle 

Ella Fence

Stupid shit

17 December 2017, 5:22pm

"Sometimes I drink too much so I have an excuse to do stupid shit"

Ella Fence

The lunatic

"The lunatic, the lover, and the poet are of imagination all compact"

William Shakespeare


6 November 2017, 12:47pm

said some thing I didn't mean
Did things I wish could be unseen 
Told some lies to dry your eyes 

21 May 2018, 8:26pm

Hoping you don’t realise 

Ella Fence

Monday, April 2, 2018

the artist (demo)

this demo/ random musical exploration will be up on my SoundCloud for 24 hours, enjoy x

Tuesday, January 23, 2018

It almost is, but just not quite

And slowly but surely I began to become less interesting to you
You’re less interested in me
I’m less interested in you

I want a life of endless possibility
Of adventure and freedom

But I can give this to myself already

I don’t need this from another 
I want to share that with another 

How many people in this life were interested and didn’t speak up
How many people lied about how they were really feeling
To themselves
To each other 

What if you enter into something for different reasons than the other

One too scared to leave
One too scared to stay
One person more pushy
One person says okay

Do you pretend? Let it go on anyway?

When you know it isn’t right
It almost is, but just not quite

What is your next move?

Live the life you lust.