Duality

Sometimes the flowers would die

And she would keep them

Sometimes they would die

And she would dispose of them.

Depending on the mood, the frame of mind

Would decide the outcome.

Whether they were a memory of a once beautiful fragrance, or a representation of a good thing coming to an end.

It would all depend.

And so she could see, that this was like the rest of her life, her dreams, her passions, desires and lusts.

Whether expansive or contracting, all dependent on her.

Whether opportunity was hurdle, and set back was guidance, and failure was hidden success.

Neither existing without the other, in a balanced life - duality of the mind, body and spirit.

The world, the light, the shade, was all dependent on her and the way in which she would see.

Her reality was just a mirror of her outlook. 

Panorama Vision

Panorama
360 vision
my one decision
to leave it as it stands
or grasp it in my hands

Palms open
Wait for the collision
my multi-vision
sees freedom in the flow
release control

Tiny little gold mines: the frustrater
fuels my mind's equator

Pushing, pulling
holding me back
in this reality.
I choose vitality.

Harnessing energy
deep inside
my one divide
you've no reason to hide.

Let go, but keeping ground
not lost, not found.

Toes gripped to the edge
Feel the energy rise
mind expanding to the sky

The space between my eyes
to bring perception; a resurrection.

You're not broken,
you're not fixed,
you exist.

The windy path
is rarely clear
but choose your own
relinquish fear

You are the prize
you are the sun
you are the lucky one.

but.

Energy
cannot be created, cannot be destroyed.

We are the prize
we are the sun
we are the lucky ones.

Warriors of love
warriors of light
together we ignite.

Stripped back, washed away
we stand tall on our own
but fearless mountain lions
together take the throne.

After all it was her ocean

A fear that ate her up inside

and spiralled through her mind

a great divide.

Between the feeling flowing up her back 

deep into each side

and the outcome she'd desire

She felt on fire.

When waves of words in motion

Pouring from her ocean

In control when things were still

But only up until.

The power left her side

In vulnerable she would reside

If she could she wouldn’t taste it

But the fear just wouldn’t hide

Stared her in the face

Wouldn’t leave without a trace

Wouldn’t let its head hang heavy

And know it had no place

She was shaken by the teaching

Desperately learning.

Extending.

Reaching

She could not make it subside,

But would not let it stunt her stride.

She would look it right back in the face

This fear she would embrace.

As power.

Use it to her advantage

Learn the lessons, teaching

Forever growing, reaching

She would stare it in the eyes

and would not own its lies.

Harness the energy as passion

She would ride it

Like a magic carpet.

She knew that once again.

Light would cascade from her skin

Replace troubles she once felt

And the others they’d begin

To see it to.

Look fear in the face

a challenge to embrace

move forward swiftly, spirit free

a warrior of sun she'd choose to be

She would choose

Not to sacrifice, again.

Not to let it lock her in. 

She would ride it

Like a wave

She would choose

The path of brave

After all it was her ocean

And to no ocean was she slave.

Summer Storms

And so the tree had taken on a new shape

Because the rain had become its friend

Disheartening for some, but in its element in the sleepy, “miserable” weather.

Perception.

No longer circular and perfect. It was messy and jagged.

Just one little tree, in  a field of many, but it stood alone, and it stood tall.

It was almost the same but slightly individual and separate.

Almost the same, but it would be lost within those untruths.

It changed, adapted, with the season, the environment.

Working with the world around it.

Forever growing.

A certain ease within an otherwise brilliant frustration.

It stood, soaking up the water, soaking up the sun.

But still, some leaves were dying.

So it shed

What was once fruitful and pure, coming from within, what once thrived.

Gone.

Changed.

What didn’t serve it anymore was removed, to make room for beautiful new growth.

No barriers, no boundaries, no limits.

No defence mechanism or casing of protection, for what no longer served.

Only room for growth.  

Thank you

It's easy to confuse your natural desire and ability to grow with the judgmental words of "I'm not good enough".

If you strip away the negative connotations that your mind creates during these situations and make room for unconditional acceptance of yourself, it will give you the power and freedom to practice self improvement without losing self-love.

This year has been a huge journey and I cannot thank you enough for the love and support for the growth of this project and in turn, my growth as an individual and artist.

Songwriting and Studio Blog - Day Two with Ken Stringfellow in Paris

Thursday 18 September

Having conversations with Ken this morning I’m beginning to realise that I need to be able to function on a random timetable, which I feel I have done my best at, but it has been very exhausting being in different cities, trying to find my feet. I feel mentally, emotionally and physically strained. But I think this is a good test, a good stepping-stone, a building block. You’ve got to start somewhere, I’m just starting at the beginning.

But that’s just right now, this is an industry that is very sporadic and very hard work. Even when it feels like you’re not working in the studio, you really are, because you need to be switched on at all times. 12 hour days are long (what I did with Ken yesterday).

Yes it’s enjoyable, it’s an amazing profession, but it’s still a lot of energy, a lot of work, time, passion.

I do feel drained.

I feel so energised when I hear the music though. It’s all worth it.

All the time and money, effort, sacrifice.

Remember your goal Steph – as an artist, by creating something, you are testing the boundaries of society, growing, helping others grow.

By expressing myself through music I am doing that. My performance ability has improved tremendously as well, I noticed during the gig at Vibe Bar… I was really in the zone, people were listening, people cared and took in the themes of my music.

I can’t believe I’ve done this – I’m almost at the end of my trip and I’ve come so far… I’ve learned so much, about songwriting, myself, letting go.

Ken is currently playing electric guitar with an his Gibson for our solo part. It sounds fucking awesome. A little scary… but I think it’s very “cinematic”! We have a few tempo changes in this track, which emphasise the drama and tension in the track.

While all this recording has been a great experience, there were a lot of times that I felt a lot of it was over my head, in terms of the “production”. But that’s normal, otherwise I may as well just record in my bedroom at home. But because it’s going over my head and I’m a little separated, I feel like I’m not putting in all the effort I could be… or because I’m not “doing everything” it feels like I’m not working hard enough.

Need to keep reminding myself that this isn’t the case, it’s all a building block for my musical path and goal. I will bring away from these experiences so many learnings on how to write, pull songs together, what sounds good… I have something to offer and present to a band for them to play.

It is a brainchild from me as well, but the concepts have been carried out by others. Let go of ego Steph.

Know when you don’t know everything and that sometimes you need to seek advice or hand certain elements over to others for them to do, as that’s their expertise, or they have more experience.

I just sang harmonies and got the parts!!!!! Very proud of myself!!! I’m usually really awful at them…

I can’t believe I’m in Paris working on my music… and after this, we will have finished… after today… I’ve finished what I set out to do.

I just learnt what scrubbing is – erasing the nocal noises, it used to be done with spot eraser on tape.

Songwriting and Studio Blog - Day One with Ken Stringfellow in Paris

Wednesday 17 September

Doing a lot more songwriting work-shopping. Ken is so passionate and so intricately interesting. A real artist.

I just saw a couple having sex out of their window… on the window sill. Very Parisian?

We are working on Cigarettes and Red Wine, building the song up. Wednesday was a good day the way Ken worked on my vocal... he really let me go free and have an open platform. 

I’m glad we did the vocals yesterday (Wednesday as I’m now writing this Thursday), because I’m feeling really run down and exhausted today. This trip has been massive, all the moving around, all the music, the gigs, the emails, all the preparation and high energy consumption.

This song is sounding really cool. Ken is a really interesting character to work with, and I feel really inspired by him.

The life he leads is so crazy -  touring artist, producer, writer.

Talking to him and looking at the last month and a half, it’s definitely the life I want for myself.