Unseen?

6 November 2017, 12:47pm

I said some thing I didn't mean
Did things I wish could be unseen 
Told some lies to dry your eyes 


21 May 2018, 8:26pm

Hoping you don’t realise 


Ella Fence

the artist (demo)

this demo/ random musical exploration will be up on my SoundCloud for 24 hours, enjoy x

https://soundcloud.com/ellafencemusic/the-artist-demo

It almost is, but just not quite

And slowly but surely I began to become less interesting to you

You’re less interested in me

I’m less interested in you

I want a life of endless possibility

Of adventure and freedom

But I can give this to myself already

I don’t need this from another 

I want to share that with another 

How many people in this life were interested and didn’t speak up

How many people lied about how they were really feeling

To themselves

To each other 

What if you enter into something for different reasons than the other

One too scared to leave

One too scared to stay

One person more pushy

One person says okay

Do you pretend? Let it go on anyway?

When you know it isn’t right

It almost is, but just not quite

What is your next move?

Sum of All Parts

“A concept in holism. Related to the idea that the total effectiveness of a group of things each interacting with one another is different or greater than their effectiveness when acting in isolation from one another”. 

There is a version of me that is obsessive

There is a version of me that is relaxed

There is a version of me that is destructive

There is a version of me that is constructive

There is a version of me that is fiery

There is a version of me that is calm

There is a version of me that is inconsiderate

There is a version of me that is thoughtful

There is a version of me that is selfish

There is a version of me that is giving

There is a version of me that is rude

There is a version of me that is kind

There is a version of me that is direct

There is a version of me that is ambiguous

There is a version of me that is confident

There is a version of me that is passive

There is a version of me that is passionate

There is a version of me that is lazy

There is a version of me that is controlling

There is a version of me that is carefree

There is a version of me that is depressed

There is a version of me that is blissfully happy

I am complex, just like everyone else.

None of these versions of me, on their own define me.

I am the sum of all parts.

-->

Change.

I'm afraid of change 

But I'm growing just the same

Trying to hold tightly

To the things that once defined me

But I'm panicking because it slips away

Each day

I'm somewhat different to the last

More parts are woken

More things are spoken 

I'm afraid I won't be able to relate 

To the girl I once was

And the loves in my life

I'm different from these people, always have been, but seeing it more now

Can feel it getting stronger

Wanting to explode away

From the monotony they

Accept.

The routine.

The expect.

Same the same and the same again

Yes they'll always be home

But does home live in the past

Where is home for me now

On the road

In the unexpected

I miss them

For the friendship we used to have

For the times we were the same people

Just because we want different things out of life

Does that mean we're doomed for separation 

These people

Who once defined me

Helped me to write me

I'm not ready to let them go

But this passion and this drive

The thing that keeps me alive

The closer I move toward it

The further I am from them

The more I reject the norm

The more removed I become 

Would you rather be blind and lonely, lonely in your ideas, the things you think about, the conversations you know you need and have

Or awake and lonely.

Is it one or the other though?

I fucking hope not.

I wanna be downtown too.

Hollow Drum - out now.

You're gonna have to burn with me.